Deeds that kill Love – By Ama Lawson
The word love can be defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. Simply put- love is what one feels. You can find yourself having a strong feeling for someone and may even believe you cannot live without that person but is possible you might not be in love with the person.
Related: Some Facts About Relationship
For some, love is more than just being physically interested in someone. It can be an emotional attachment. Love is more of a feeling that a person feels for another person. Love means, to be deeply committed and connected to someone or something. The basic meaning of love therefore is to feel more than liking towards someone. So we can say love is a strong affection for a person.
Love it is said is very beautiful. Two people meet and believe they have something in common, get attracted to each other, and with time realize they always want to be together. They sometimes believe they are twins and cannot be separated. The beginning of everything is always sweet you know. But as time goes on, there can be series of connections where one party begins to have the feeling that he or she or the other person is beginning to lose interest and the love and adoration begins to diminish gradually.
Let us look at some Actions and or Attitudes that can kill Love.
- TRUST – When one suddenly begins to question the other, it means there is an issue. Right from the word go, you two must build trust. If you trust each other, you will always have a free and positive mind towards each other at all times. Some people suddenly become insecure and that is never a good sign at all. Then, the meetups reduce, one starts to give one excuse or the other why he/she cannot meet, and step by step that affection begins to dwindle and less important. You no longer feel something is missing in you for not seeing the other person.
- Equity – I strongly believe that before two people agree to be in a love relationship, they must know what value each of them is bringing on board to build and sustain it. This builds relationships stronger. Everyone must benefit from each other in the relationship. (not only material but in all aspects of the relationship). If this is accepted and dealt with well, there will be peace at all times. But where one partner finds him/herself at the giving end only while the other also only at the receiving end all the time. (for instance, in the case of marriage, only one person is found doing all the household routine over and over again every day without the other offering a helping hand).
- Extreme Possessiveness – We must all admit that when you are in love you feel some possessiveness towards each other. It is very natural. But where it gets to the extreme, it is a negative sign. Most often, it is unconscious but it is very wrong. Some people believe that without them their partner cannot exist and can go all lengths to make sure they alone have access to the partner all the time. Remember that we are all born different. You cannot be over possessive of your partner and this most often drives others away from them. It is very wrong.
Just be yourself and let your partner also be. Look, so long as there is love and trust your partner is yours and just yours. You want to be where your partner is at all cost each time, you want to know where they are, what they are doing, their friends, even to the extent of going through each other’s phone to know why and who they communicate with and try to question every step your partner takes. It is simply insecurity on your part. This can easily ruin the beautiful union you have built within a twinkle of an eye.
- Selfishness – This can be another danger. One partner does not want to make time for the other and always thinking of his or her happiness alone. You make yourself so busy that you forget you have a partner to make time for. Most people also seem to trust their friends/peers more than their partners and find themselves spending more time with them at the expense of their partners. This is selfishness. If you know you cannot make time for each other better not venture to toy with anyone’s emotions.
- Communication – This is a very important key in relationships. Some people proudly say they are not good at communicating; WRONG. You are supposed to be in love and relationship with someone yet, you do not cherish communication? It will kill that love fast. I used to think it is only when there is a distance between lovers that there is a problem with communication, but I have come to realize that long-distance relationships most often flourish more. There must be constant communication between you two. We must be thankful for technology.
No matter where you are in the world now, nothing must stop you from communicating regularly with your partner. Yes; there are some busy days for everyone but what will it take to steal a second each time out of your busy schedules to drop a “hi, I am checking on you” text at least? Those days that you need time to sit down and write letters are gone. Just take your phone even if you cannot call, just drop a hello each morning at least and later find time for the long chat, etc. But if this is missing the love can die gradually.
“Thoughts are beneficial when they are coming from a soul that is in harmony with its governing spirit: but when thoughts are overstretched, frustration can set in”.
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